Monday, 20 August 2007

#73 Sunday Scribblings "Dear Diary" ...

Dear Diary,
How fitting this prompt is at this time. There’s no ‘dear diary’ round here – it’s more ‘darn diaries’! There’s thirty years of my diaries along with another drawer full of diaries kept by my Mother. What to do with the drawers of forests?

Most of the one’s kept by me haven’t been read for a number of years. Why? Because when I last skimmed through them I detested what I read. Who was that person? What a sad and sorry piece of work the writer was at that time. I pondered my reaction. Was it sadness, shame or a combination? Probably the time of that reading wasn’t the right time, I wonder is it now?

Mum’s diaries are easy to read, desperately sad too! Most of her writing was about what she ate. At the top of most pages there’s a red tick denoting whether she went to the toilet that day and worse still as her health declined how many times. Isn’t that sad? Why do old people become obsessed with their bowels?

One question for me is what to do with these historical ramblings now? What about that person I used to be, what was happening family wise, about where I socialised and with whom, the jobs I had, the dates I moved house, the amount of cool refreshing glasses of happiness that were consumed, the hearts I broke, how many times I thought my heart was broken, that life wasn’t worth living? Can I part with all that history?

Nah … they’re staying where they are.

Yay, I’ve answered my own question!

The pages are cathartic, invaluable, outrageous! The pages contain the stuff memoirs are made of. These diaries contain inspiration. Showing how not to make the same mistakes. Descriptions of flight versus fight. Reminders of survival. Demonstrations of how floundering motivation will lead you to rise above adversity. There's the wildness, the partying, the sadness, the depression, the laughter, all climaxing in how I turned my life around, how I saved my soul, how I did it alone, and more importantly how the metamorphosis eventuated … all the meat for the bones of another chapter in the book!

Rest easy Dear Diaries. I feel another journey another entry in another diary, coming up!

3 Comments:

Tammy said...

Well you certainly turned that around in a very positive way. I'm glad they are staying. :)

Marcy said...

Never act on something that you're not sure about -- it's brought me a long way in life. I kind of feel the same way about my boxes (and boxes and boxes) of fabric that you feel about your diaries. I would really love to sell it on ebay or whatever, but everytime I sit down to do it, I just get so sad and just can't part with it all. Apparently, it's still not the time to get rid of it!!

gautami tripathy said...

I can understand that. I read my dad's diaries. It told me a lot about him. But after he was gone.

Is that god or bad, I don't know.

I will keep his diaries as well as mine.

Thoughtful post.

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