Mmmm, what comes up when I think writing? Feelings of frustration at the time I’ve wasted, cheesed off at myself for not having used the talent I’ve been told I have and as I ponder the opportunities I’ve let pass by I could raise a high pitched scream at the amount of research, creative writing classes and writing groups to which I’ve belonged benefits of which I’ve not fully utilized. The genuine desire to further hone my writing skill remains, as yet, unfulfilled. Around me oodles of writing as therapy await editing for publication where insights that no doubt will enthral a reader amount’s to reams of paper filed as, works in progress. Frustrated isn’t a sufficient analysis … nah, angry is what I should be.
But without giving myself a really hard time, that’s me, the perpetual procrastinator. I dabble. My ever-growing folder of published works somehow grows. I contribute to a monthly column, deadline a quarterly submission plus keep my blog alive but the dreaded memoir, nothing! Gutsy writing required … not happening!
Initially rehashing the past was too distressing. Most of it I’d forgotten. Locked in a place in the deep dark regions of my mind, safe where no-one, especially me, could be harmed or tempted anymore. Being an avid scribe whether in diaries or brightly coloured spiral bound books with practically nothing barred, re-reading became too confronting, too hard, too destructive. These cathartic tomes saved my sanity. Re-reading, re-living, much of which made me predominantly sad, did my head in, who was that person?
I’m undisciplined. No way do I have time to live the writer’s life, to set aside a certain time to compose. My chosen serene, satisfied, reclusive, less ordered life gets in the way. The lack of a set routine inhibits any writing commitment. Well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Excuses of enjoying life, exploring other creative pursuits, being undisciplined, sound familiar … Ah Ha … now, as I write the questions arise … could it simply be I’m still not ready to face that glorious, herendous, outrageous, tumultuous past?
Saturday 8 September 2007
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
14 Comments:
now here's a good question - Should you? Why a memoir? Maybe if you don't want to rehash the past its because you're 'over it'!?
write a future instead!
a great read - am glad I stopped by :)
Another procrastinator here so of course I liked this! Thanks for stopping by my blog. Cheers, Jo
I'm a procrastinator too - maybe we should adopt that catch phrase "Just do it" ??
I think all writers are superb procrastinators~ I know I am.
There's a book called you might like called Pen on Fire - A Busy Woman's Guide to Igniting the Writer Within. It's full of great writing exercises for just 15 minutes a day.
Great post!
I love how honest your post is... it echoes a lot of how I feel reading over my past writings...
We waste too much time thinking. I suppose we should just plunge. I have done that to ofeten. Worrying, thinking. Now I just go ahead and write. Talent is never wasted and it is never too late. Cliches but these hold true.
Very honest post.
I have to agree, I love how honest your post is. And I can totally relate to it.
Thanks for leaving a comment on my blog. I'm glad you like my post.
when you are ready.......it will flow. In the meantime, keep writing other stuff as a way to stay in the writing game and before you know it, bits will have been written. This is what I'm finding with the blogging....it is a way to tackle small remnants of my bio. One day, it will be stitched together.
what has stopped me in the past is thinking of writing a novel or a bio etc as a whole big task rather than as vignettes.
One story at a time.........
I hear you! For me writing creatively which I long to do more of and being disciplined in my writing seen to be in opposition. Instead a carry a small notebook with me and make 1001 creative observations that I could expand upon...yet never seem to do. Well...we keep trying.
"I’m undisciplined. No way do I have time to live the writer’s life, to set aside a certain time to compose. My chosen serene, satisfied, reclusive, less ordered life gets in the way."
I work from home, writing for a living, so you'd THINK I'd be more disciplined. But no.
Danae asks a very intriguing question. And regarding the lack of discipline? I think that's a part of the job description for being a writer. Or at least it is for me.
I don't think I could write memoir - but I could write some truth into a fictionalized account. Maybe. Good post!
Your post completely blew me away, a real eye opener! I related on so many levels but the line that stuck with me the most is:
"But without giving myself a really hard time, that’s me, the perpetual procrastinator. I dabble."
It is so me!
You really spoke of who you are in this post... thank you! Getting to the 'getting to it', and not getting bogged down in the 'thinking about it' -- that is the key to living.
Post a Comment